Scorpio

Listen. Do you want to know a secret? (Where have I heard that line before?) Do you promise not to tell? Scorpios are ace! Their coolness can be captivating, and their furtiveness fascinating. And they're so laid back it's luscious!

Scorpios have more undercurrents than a conger eel. You never know what makes them tick because they never give you a clue. (Is it clockwork or quartz?) They sit looking enigmatic, and you wonder what on earth they're thinking about!

In fact, enigmatic is the supreme Scorpio word. The normal give-away for this Plutonic sign is the eyes, which are like deep pools you wonder what's going on below the surface. Scorpios are like icebergs: after all, if you combine their element, Water, with their Fixed quality, what do you get but ice?

Aries and Scorpio share the ancient rulership of mighty Mars, yet their temperaments are as different as chalk and cheese. Arians have Hashes of Fiery fury, and act on impulse (they'll suddenly strangle you with a sock). Scorpios. though, simmer and smolder on the back burner of life's cooker, plotting and planning how to get even with you. And they'll manage it in the end! Scorpios have psychological power, and use it to the full whenever they can. (They could manipulate Machiavelli)

Never underestimate a Scorpio. This is a phantasmagorically profound placing for a person, and Scorpios are imbued with intensity. This is. after all, the sign of sex and death.

Death, for a Scorpio, isn't always something physical: instead these folk can kill off certain sections of their lives they no longer like in the twinkling of an eye. They can transform and transfigure their lives more than any other sign, making fresh starts with barely a backward glance. However, since this is the sign of obsessions, some Scorpios are fascinated by physical death, and can gad about graveyards, looking at the headstones and absorbing the atmosphere. They'll be engrossed and enthralled by the ritual of death, and almost have death wishes, because they can't wait to know what it's like on the other side. Other Scorpios go to the opposite extreme, and are petrified of popping off!

Make no mistake, this is a sign of such compulsion, obsession and profundity that some people find Scorpios hard to handle. Just thinking about their intense inquisitions, interrogations and investigations makes some folk's hair stand on end! Scorpios can be like an oil rig, drilling deep into the heart of the matter. (I wonder how many of the men are called Derrick?) And if you want to know what makes a Scorpio tick you've got to do the same to them. Then you'll start to see what's submerged beneath that superficially serene surface. (A Scorpio may come across as cool, calm and collected, but underneath that elegant exterior is a sizzling selection of scorching sensations simply seething away!)

Power is very important to these Plutonians, but it's always gained in a secretive way. Scorpios operate behind the scenes; they love to manipulate others, but hate to be caught in the glare of the spotlight themselves.

But don't just think there's only one sort of Scorpio, who's like the Spanish Inquisition. There are three sides to this sign, from the angelic to the awfiil. Top of the list is the devout dove. This is the Scorpio who believes in peace and tranquility, and strives for it at all costs. (Perhaps even becoming a nun or a monk in the process.) Next comes the exciting eagle the daredevil hero who takes risks and laughs in the face of danger. Whether James or Jane Bond, this Scorpio works behind the scenes as a spy or a secret agent. (You can always spot 'em because they shin up drainpipes in the dark, clutching cartons of chocs between their teeth!) So far so good, I hear you say. But lastly comes the sly snake, that slithers through the undergrowth of life, then slinks out when you least expect it, and buries its fangs in your ankle. Ouch! These are the mass-murderers, the Charles Mansons of the world. (No wonder Scorpios can get a bad name!)

Luckily for the rest of us, that is the lowest level to which a Scorpio can sink. (It's the lowest level to which anyone can sink!) Higher-minded Scorpios choose to follow a positive path, seeking out the spiritual side of life. But a truly negative Scorpio will turn to black magic to fulfill that pulverizing passion for power, taking a macabre interest in things most people shy away from. Once you've totally understood a complex Scorpio you'll have solved one of astrology's most ancient mysteries, and be shown sensational sights of life that no other sign can offer.