Sagittarius

Talk about clumsy! If Sagittarians aren't putting both feet in it verbally, they're doing it physically, and landing up to their necks in trouble. If you ask an Archer round for afternoon tea, don't get out the best china. It'll only get broken. (Use some plastic plates instead.) Your Sagittarian pal will rush into the room and trip over the tea table, sending the cups and saucers flying in all directions. Then, to add insult to injury, as your mate dashes off for a dishcloth to mop up the mess, he or she will step on a cream cake and crunch it into the carpet. Still, having your residence wrecked is often better than hearing the truth about yourself, Sagittarian style. Your friend can say 'I saw someone who looked just like you yesterday.' However, before you feel pleased, and start to preen, wait for the punchline. 'Then I realized it was someone else, because you've got more spots.' See what I mean?

But let's look on the bright side something that's second nature to our jovial pals. Sagittarians are incurable optimists (their beer bottles are always half full, never half empty), and they will inject others with their infectious enthusiasm,' given half a chance. If you're feeling really down in the dumps, your Sagittarian pal will bounce up, tell you a joke or two and try to get you giggling again. Go on, give 'em a grin! Jupiter, the planet that rules these Archers, makes them magnificently merry, and they'll try to jolly everyone else along too. The terrific thing about them is that they usually succeed. You can't mooch about moping for long when there's an Archer about.

Because this is the polar sign of garrulous Gemini, Sagittarians are also blessed with the gift of the gab, and can talk the hind leg off a donkey. But there is a mighty difference between these two signs. Astrologically, Gemini is the lower-minded sign, dealing with subjects superficially and knowing a little about a lot, while Sagittarius is the opposite, full of philosophy and worldly wisdoms. (In ancient mythology, the Centaur the Sagittarius symbol was the master of teaching and healing.) During a deep discussion with an Archer, you'll find that they're searching for the meaning of life, and will ponder on the problem all through their existence. ('What's it all about, Alfie?' is definitely the Sagittarian's song!) Faiths and beliefs are all-important to Archers.

Now, it's not for nothing that Sagittarius is the sign of the Archer. There's the hunter, poised with his bow and arrow, all a-quiver, taking aim at a target. Archers do this throughout their lives (always aiming for the bull's-eye), but the trouble is they often aim too high, and miss the target by miles. They set their sights too high (literally!). Sometimes, of course, an Archer will get it right first time, but usually life to these folk is like a rerun of the Battle of Hastings, with arrows flying in all directions. (If you're called Harold, you should head for the hills!)

It's all gigantic Jupiter's doing. Because he's the largest planet in the heavens, he gives some of these Sagittarians ideas above their stations. This can be a terrific trait, because it means that the Sagittarian is always striving for better things. But some Centaurs can go to the opposite extreme and exaggerate everything they come into contact with. As a result, they get everything out of proportion; they bounce about, blowing their own bugles, believing the world can't turn without them. You see, Jupiter knows no bounds and neither do Sagittarians. (The world doesn't just end at Ambridge for these Archers!)

This is the universal sign, and all Archers are tantalized by travel and the thought of far-flung corners of the globe. Think of the Sagittarians you know. You'll find that lots of them went round the world as soon as they could, or lived in a foreign country at some point in their lives. (Their passports contain more stamps than a Stanley Gibbons catalogue!) This desire to get out and see the world for themselves can be the making of positive Sagittarians. Negative Archers, though, can wax lyrical about their exotic adventures, name-dropping like mad, so it sounds as though they spent a weekend at the White House, when actually they only whizzed past it on a bus.

Jupiter is the planet of luck and opportunity, and some Archers are just like cats, with nine lives. (Some of them are so accident-prone, they need all the help they can get!) You may think they're gauche and rude, but they call it being honest! They make the most of every opportunity that arises, and can often spot a chance when others don't think it's there. Sometimes that'll be their brilliant perception and vision, and other times it'll be blind faith and living in Cloud-cuckoo-land. It's up to the Archer to decipher the mystical Morse code.

Meet a positive Sagittarian and you will be fulfilled in many ways, and imbued with a zest and a zeal for living. But a negative Archer can be crafty, or will let you down in some way or other, whether emotionally or materially. These folk can waste everyone's time, and will bite off more than they can chew. All Sagittarians need challenges; they need to know where to aim their celestial bows and arrows so they can hit the target fair and square. After all, it's much better to climb the ladder of life. rung by rung, than to take a flying leap at it and miss by miles!